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Hi. I’m Dan. And here is my in-depth guide on how to last longer in bed naturally.
As a men’s sexual health coach, I specialize in teaching guys how to develop ejaculatory control and last longer in bed and here I’ll show you the exact steps you can take to boost your stamina in bed.
There’s a lot here, so I’ve broken it up into 7 parts.
Your Action Plan to Last Longer in Bed:
- Instant Cool Down Tricks and Techniques
- The TBP Method
- The Snooze Button
- How Stop Negative Thoughts Sabotaging You Efforts To Last In bed
- Flip You Mindset
- Why Learning Real Ejaculatory Control skills is The Best Way to Build Confidence
- Anchor Your Breathing – An Easy Way To Last Longer Tonight
- How to breath Before and During sex
- Diaphragmatic Breathing
- The Nuts and Bolts of Ejaculatory Training
- Standard Kegels Vs Controlled Kegels
- Edging The EF way
- How To Read Your Body’s Signals and Take Action
- Stages of Arousal
- Extending the Plateau Stage
- Sexual Techniques – Know Which To Use
- How to Get in the Zone Every Time (Advanced)
These are the raw methods taken straight from my Ejaculation Freedom Course. Though all the information here in this in-depth guide is totally free.
You’ll notice that what I teach is very different to other “how to last longer in bed” advice you will see online. This is not a fluffy article to make you feel better for 5 minutes. This is the stuff that is working for men right now.
First Time Here?
If it’s your first time checking out the Ejaculation Freedom site – Welcome! Some other guides on the site you’ll find useful are my list of the 10 best (and worst) premature ejaculation treatments, a look at what causes premature ejaculation, plus my premium premature ejaculation training course for guys who are really serious about boosting their lasting time.
Here’s How You Can Last Longer In Bed
We’ll start off with two instant cool down techniques that you can put into action tonight, followed up with some practical ways to develop your confidence and get in the right mindset. Then we’ll learn how to breath the right way in bed (this will help you last longer tonight).
Next I’ll run you through 3 training techniques you can do by yourself to build your ejaculatory control. Then it’s time to put it all into action as we learn how to read the signals your sexual response system is sending you so you know the right sexual positions to using (I’ll show you these as well).
We’ll wrap it up by learning a more advanced method of getting in the zone during sex. Hint: this is the key to lasting in bed during those hard pounding sessions.
Like I said. There’s a lot here. So lets get into it.
Before I get into the specific methods there’s one thing you need to fully understand…
The fact that you have trouble lasting in bed does not mean that you have a condition, disease or that you are abnormal or different from other guys.
All it means that you have not yet learned the skills and techniques required to take control of your ejaculatory system.
As you will see below, It’s not hard to learn these skills.
I break my training modules down into 7 parts. It’s ordered so you can start with the easier stuff and then work your way to the more challenging and powerful methods. Let’s do it!
1. Instant cool down tricks and techniques
A great place to start is to learn some instant cool down methods. These are specific actions you can perform that will cool your system and bring you back from the dreaded point of no return.
I like to teach these methods early on in the course because I have found they are great at giving guys an extra bit of confidence.
I teach 10 separate instant cool down techniques in the full course and here I’ll explain two of them. They are both easy to learn and you can start using them effectively straight away.
1. The TBP Method
I developed the TBP Method from feedback from my clients over the years. It is that it’s super easy to learn so you can put it into action tonight.
TBP stands for Tongue – Back – Push.
There’s 3 parts to this one. Use it when you start to feel your arousal level rising but before you reach the point of no return (PONR)
Here’s what to do:
Run the tip of your tongue in a circular motion around the roof of your mouth. You can do this while k eeping your mouth closed, so your partner wont even notice you doing it. It may tickle slightly.
Yes, this may seem a bit weird but stick with me. I’ll explain why it works in a tick.
Next, rub your hands up and down your partner’s back in long even strokes. Go all the way up to her shoulders and down to her lower back (but avoid her butt).
If you are in a position where you cannot reach her back (such as missionary) rub your hands up and down her lower legs (think knees down).
The final part to this method is to push your PC Muscle. Push out as though you are passing a bowl movement. Visualize yourself pushing out and releasing tension.
Hold for about 5 seconds and then release. relax for 5 seconds and repeat.
The exact time isn’t important. What is, is that you get yourself into the flow of things and are focused on the different individual sensations you are feeling.
Feel free to make small changes depending of what feels right for you. The key is that you broaden the spectrum of the sensation you are focusing on.
Why it works:
Most guys (and I bet you’re one of them) have a much too narrow focus during sex. You will unconsciously over-focus on the stimulation of your genitals. This causes you to forget about all the other sensations you are experiencing. What this trick does is brings you out of this state.
The push part of the TBP method helps you remove tensions form the muscles within your pelvic area.
I guess you could call this an anti distraction method. Yes, it distracts you from only focusing on your genitals. But it keeps you in the moment.
The PBT method is great because your partner wont notice you doing anything, apart from the extra attention paid to her back, which she will enjoy.
I teach 10 full instant cool down methods in my Ejaculation Freedom course. Some of the others are a lot more powerful but they have to be done the right way, and need to be combined with some of the other training methods.
2 : The Snooze Button
The second technique I’ll show you is one to be saved for the very last line of defense. And it involves manually stopping you body’s ejaculation.
Before we start You’ll need to recognize the difference between orgasm and ejaculation.
Despite what most guys assume these are too separate physical actions, and while they often occur together, they don’t have to.
The next instant cool down trick will stop your ejaculation. But you will still orgasm.
There is a point midway between your balls and your anus. As you start to climax press this point firmly and continue holding it all the way through your orgasm. You will fell some very strong contractions. Keep holding this point until they have finished.
If you get the right point you will not physically ejaculate.
Most guys with premature ejaculation begin to panic during sex as they feel themselves losing control.
This is the worst thing you can do but it’s a completely unconscious decision, so just telling yourself “Don’t Panic” won’t change a thing.
Interesting, I found that when I teach my clients some instant cool down methods right at the start, they are a lot less likely to get into that state of mind.
The methods are pretty easy to learn, however I always stress that they shouldn’t be overused.
They are basically a temporary “insurance policy” to cover you as you start out. Once you start working on the more powerful skills and methods I’ll show you and approach a higher level of ejaculatory control you shouldn’t need to use any of these methods at all.
It’s best to practice this on your own once or twice first, but DO NOT overuse it.
2. How To Stop Those Negative Thoughts Sabotaging Your Efforts To Last In bed
You’ll get some so called premature ejaculation professionals who will tell you that this is all just a mental dilemma and this is all in your head.
I AM NOT one of them.
Some people will try to tell you that if have trouble lasting in bed it means you have some deep underlying psychological condition that needs to be flushed out and confronted. Don’t listen to this nonsense for a second.
The more guys I work with and the more research I do it becomes increasingly apparent that premature ejaculation has a range of physical triggers and correctional methods.
In fact, most guys can see pretty good improvements by working on the physical aspects alone. Still, there’s no denying that the mental game does come into it and it’s an important pillar to get right.
Here’s a few simple steps you can take to improve your mindset and confidence levels.
You can sometimes convince yourself that it’s the end of the world should you ejaculate early during sex. This isn’t the case and you need to learn to put things back in perspective.
The more pressure you put on yourself the higher the chance that you will tense up and be unable to last.
Talk to Your Partner
This is something than many guys are reluctant to do. But talking to your partner about your concerns is a great way to take the pressure off yourself.
If you can’t last in bed, your partner is going to be aware of it weather you talk about it or not. And you may be surprised to learn that most women will be more than understanding once you make the effort to be honest with them.
Even let her know that you are training to improve (you will be surprised how much women will respect this).
Switch Your Focus
By switching your focus away from yourself and onto your partner. Away from the endpoint and onto the process and away from fear and panic and towards confidence and the enjoyment of both you and your partner.
I make this really easy for the guys that I work with by listing cues and tricks they can use to shift focus to the correct areas. But for now the main thing here is to keep your mental focus on your partner and off your performance.
The steps above will help you, but by far the best way to improve your mental game is this…
Learn the physical skills of ejaculation control
Confidence will only take you so far. Without the physical skills, confidence alone wont help.
Imagine a guy stepping out onto a basketball court. He has all the confidence in the world. Yet if he has never learned the techniques and skills required to play basketball. If he has never practiced these skills – He is still not going to be any good.
And it’s exactly the same with learning how to last longer in bed. It’s a skill you can learn through technique, understanding and training. Once you develop these skills, an aura of confidence will naturally follow.
3. Anchor Your Breathing – An Easy Way To Last Longer Tonight
If you’re not breathing the right way during sex you will struggle to last in bed. It’s as simple as that.
And it’s something that practically all guys who cant last in bed get wrong.
But you know what. It’s easy to learn how to breath correctly. And it’s something that will make a difference straight away.
Breathing the right way relaxes your muscles. Removing the tension that would otherwise start working its way down to your pelvic area.
Most pieces of advice you find online will recommend that you start to breath deeply when you feel you arousal rising during sex.
But that’s much to late – The trick is to develop the habit of deep breathing before sex has even begun.
Picture this as you laying down a solid foundation to the performance in bed you will soon be giving.
Diaphragmatic Breathing is the Way to Go
- Breath in through your nose steadily and deeply for 15 seconds. Visualize the air being pulled in to deep within, and not just your lungs. Don’t tense your muscles.
- Hold for 3 seconds.
- Breath out evenly and steadily through your mouth 20 seconds. Don’t rush it. Try to visualize yourself breathing out tension, from deep within your core.
Get yourself in a comfortable position and do 5 sets of these now. It’s really easy to get the hang of and after trying it yourself a few times and should quickly become automatic.
This correct breathing will form a solid foundation for the more advanced methods I teach. Your ejaculations are always caused by involuntary muscular tension and our goal with everything we will do will be to reduce and control that tension during each stage of sexual arousal. Using the correct breathing methods starts us out on the right foot.
4. Ejaculatory Training and Conditioning
Do you know what the physical mechanism of ejaculation is? If you are like most of the guys I coach you probably have no idea.
It’s pretty simple actually. In fact it’s just the one muscle that is responsible for triggering and propelling ejaculation. It’s called the PC muscle and this part of the course is all about developing control over this muscle.
When this muscle is in a relaxed state it is literally impossible to ejaculate.
It sounds simple – just make sure not to tense this muscle, but unfortunately its a bit more complicated than that. You see, this is one of the hardest muscles to in your body to control, but it CAN be done.
Don’t get me wrong. The stuff we have covered in the first 3 parts of this guide is really important and will help you last longer. But to really develop your staying power and take it to the next level you are going to have to do some physical training.
Can Kegels Help You Last Longer In Bed?
A lot of less informed people and information you’ll find online will tell you to do kegels training to last longer in bed. But the standard kegels they recommend generally won’t help you last longer and can even make your problem worse. Here’s why.
Kegels were originally prescribed to pregnant woman to help them prepare for child birth, and they are great for that purpose.
Soon, some guys realized that this is the same muscle that is responsible for your ejaculation, and they assumed that strengthening this muscle would also increase ejaculatory control.
It sounds good in theory. But there’s a problem. And it comes down to one fundamental difference.
Strength Vs control. They are NOT the same thing.
Kegels are great at strengthening you PC muscle. But, they are not so good at improving the control you have over this muscle.
And Lasting longer in bed is all about control, not strength. In fact it’s the tension and flexing of this muscle that is the physical trigger of ejaculation so the last thing you want to be doing is strengthening it without simultaneously boosting your control. That’s what traditional kegels do, and it’s why I advice against training using the traditional version.
However, there is a place for PC muscle training in your quest to last longer. In fact it’s such a key part of the ejaculatory training I teach in the course that I have developed my own version.
Introducing Controlled Kegels…
What Are Controlled Kegels?
Rather than focusing on force, controlled Kegels let you train your ability to release tension from your PC muscles.
The trick is to really focus on isolating that muscle and controlling it without flexing any of the surrounding areas. You’ll find that it’s more mentally tiring than it is physically.
The good news is that it doesn’t take long to build the muscle memory, so after just a week of daily 5 minute training sessions you should be able to relax your PC Muscle on call.
In my training course I teach a much more advanced version of this exercise and walk you through how to pinpoint your focus on the PC muscle. I also cover STR exercises and the Plak method of releasing tension from PC muscle instantly.
The traditional stop and start technique, the squeeze method and “edging” have been around for a while now. In my course I teach and advanced version on edging that focuses on gradually building stimulation while you work on maintaining control.
I go through all of these techniques in my training course. If you can’t afford to purchase my course (it is very cheap by the way) contact me, and I’ll make sure you get the correct info.
5. How to Read Your Sexual Responses and Take Action
I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but your body is on your side. It wants you to succeed. To take control and last longer in bed. It really does, which is why it sends you a range of direct signals every time you have sex. The problem is, most guys (and I’m betting you’re one of them) totally misinterpret them.
In the training methods listed above you’ll start to notice at least a small amount of the signals your body is sending out. The next step is to build this increased awareness of your state and arousal during actual intercourse.
Gauging your arousal
We can break your arousal level into 3 phases.
Excitement, Plateau and Orgasm.
If you have trouble lasting in bed. Unfortunately for you it will look something like this.
Everything we will be working on is all geared to get your plateau stage lasting longer. It is during this stage that you will learn how to throttle things back a bit by switching your position, adjusting your breathing or deploying an instant cool down method.
6. Last longer in bed with the right sexual techniques and tactics
I’m sure you have noticed that some techniques will cause you to ejaculate sooner than others.
Most guys assume that this is because the way there penis is being stimulated.
Some positions require more muscular tension than others, and it’s these positions that will lead to most men ejaculating sooner.
I’ve decided against describing these positions in detail here as I’d like to keep this site on the topic. And to describe these positions and techniques you really do need to get somewhat explicit.
You can get the full details and instructions for these positions in the Ejaculation Freedom course.
7. Achieving flow and start lasting as long as you choose
Now when I first explain this final section of the course to my clients most just don’t get it at first. It can even seem counter-intuitive.
But as the thousands of guys who have completed the ejaculation freedom course soon realize – This is the most powerful skill to have.
This is all about getting yourself “in the zone”. It’s a state of mind where you stop worrying, your muscles relax and you stop thinking about the clock. Your mind goes from thinking about all those “what ifs” to focus fully on the beautiful woman you are with. It’s how sex is supposed to be, and I’ll show you how to put yourself in this state every time.
Now this all may sound a bit spiritual at first, but this is based on real science and what’s more, there’s a step-by-step method which you can follow to reach it.
At this stage of the course you will have already build up your lasting time significantly. This is where you will go from lasting 20 minutes to taking full control and lasting as long as your choose every single time. This is Ejaculation Freedom. It’s a great feeling and you’re going to love it.
Putting it all together
The great thing about developing such a wide range skills to last longer in bed is that you are pretty much guaranteed to see improvements. In fact, it’s pretty much impossible not to after learning these methods.
I have also found that each method that you learn will in turn make it easier to learn and improve the other methods.
For example, by learning the cool down methods, you will take pressure off yourself witch will make it easier for you to get your mental conditioning where it should be. Then your improved mental conditioning will make the other sections easier to learn.
This process will continue as you work through each section until you reach, what I like to call the tipping point.
What’s the tipping point?
Put simply, the tipping point is when it all comes together and you realize you are in control. It’s the point when you know how to read your bodies messages, you are relaxed and breathing properly and you know you have some emergency tactics up your sleeve should you need them…
This gives you confidence. It relaxes you, releasing tension from your body – and yes. That’s the very same tension that would otherwise be working its way to your ejaculatory system.
You now start to enjoy sex. You focus on your beautiful partner instead of worrying. Thoughts of embarrassment and shame are long gone.
I guess it”s like that moment when your training wheels come of your bicycle and you realize you are still in control. This is ejaculation freedom, and it’s a great feeling.
Want to last longer in bed with the Ejaculation Freedom program… Keep reading.
I’ve written a lot here. But it’s only just scratching the surface of ejaculatory training. There’s stacks more, but the more advanced and powerful stuff that I teach my private clients will take some more effort and focused training.
Due to high demand I now only take on personal clients through personal referrals. The good news however is that I have put together a detailed training guide and course. It contains everything I teach my face to face clients and you can complete the whole course on your own. Check it out here.
It can be pretty tough for a guy dealing with this problem, but the good news is that it can be fixed with the right advice and training. The fact that you have sought out this guide shows that you are the sort of guy who can take action instead of just ignoring the problem like most guys unfortunately do.
If you are committed to building your ejaculatory control skills and lasting longer in bed they my Ejaculation Freedom Course is for you, or if you need additional help or have any questions that I haven’t answered you can get in touch with me here.